It’s been an incredible but exceptionally emotional weekend. I spent the last two days attending “Babies Know” a course all about understanding babies and young children from neuroscience to day to day holding, caring and nourishing.
I first attended the course when my daughter was around four months old but struggled to connect with it just like I was struggling to bond with her. Now pregnant with my second child, I saw the course in a completely different light and found it fascinating to see and hear first-hand from an exceptionally experienced team including obstetrician Dr Yehudi Gordon, psychotherapist Kitty Hagenbach and Charisse Basquin.
The weekend was quite an eye opener in terms of building that special relationship with your child and how to go about it. It’s things like feeding your baby with compassion rather than just giving them a bottle and connecting with them and understanding their behaviour and why they are acting the way they are.
I know my blog post probably isn’t doing the course justice as it’s one of those things you really have to attend to be able to see, feel and hear and understand where it’s all coming from. A lot of the course focused on our own early childhood and family constellations that have an imprint on who we are as adults and how we care for our children.
It’s also fascinating to see how a child’s behaviour can trigger of our own childhood memories, some sweet, and some not quite so.
However if there is something I took away from the weekend it was to learn and appreciate that I wasn’t alone. So many of these women and men have complex family constellations, perhaps didn’t have the perfect upbringing and as a result have suffered from periods of depression and postnatal depression. In a way it was a wakeup call, I really am not alone in what I’ve been through and am going through. Yes, the scenarios may be slightly different but it really is true that your child will bring up so many new emotional experiences and will also have the ability to drag out the old demons in you.
It’s not all doom and gloom though because working through all of this means that longer term you will have an incredible bond and relationship with your child.